“No” seems to have become the most-spoken word in my vocabulary as of late. I should seriously keep a tally one day of how many times it slips out of my mouth. I would place money on it being over 100.
Ben throws a block in the toilet: “No!”
Ben goes for a splash in Vader‘s dog bowl: “No!”
Ben tries to shove his magnetic letters in the DVD player: “No!”
Ben throws his just-prepared meal off his highchair try and on to the floor: “No!”
Ben tries to heave himself off the changing table mid-change: “No!”
Ben makes a beeline for my wine glass: “NOOOOOOO!!!!!“
Then, a couple of nights ago I had an epiphany (over a glass of wine, of course). Ben was snoozing like a baby as I was chatting with one of my mommy-friends (Mom to 2 adorable tikes…that have successfully made it beyond toddlerhood). I commented on how much I have started to sound like a broken record with all of my “no’ing lately. She said to me “the best advice I can give you is that the less you can use the word “no” now, the more effective it will be down the line”. Rather than jumping to say “no” all the time, I should explain (calmly) why we don’t do [insert annoying/dangerous action here], and re-direct the little guy. That way, when he really is headed for danger (as in about to touch a hot stove or run in the middle of the road) and I yell out “NO!”, I may actually elicit the desired reaction from him. In theory.
I guess that I knew this- I DO try to explain why we don’t do things….but honestly, I do more so because I want to seem like less like “mean mommy” all the time, and I want him to think I am talking to him more than commanding him all of the time. HOWEVER, this advice couldn’t have come at a better time for me, as (admittedly) my patience has been getting a little short these days…and we can all use a helpful parenting reminder every now and again! 
So, these last couple of days, I have been working uber conscientiously on reducing my usage of the word “no”….which, ps, is MUCH harder than it sounds:
“Toilets are not for blocks- only for going to the bathroom in.”
“You can’t splash in Vader’s bowl; he’ll have no water to drink.”
“We don’t knock over Mommy’s wine; that’s alcohol abuse.”
….and so on, and so forth.
So, thanks so much to my friend for her sweet reminder…I am a work in progress!! Anyone else finding themselves uttering “NO” a lot lately? Or have you been the recipient of any other helpful advice/reminders lately?
-J
mamateurs
Oh Jamie…we really need to catch up and have a “mommy venting”/therapeutic talk session. Honestly, it will be much more productive (for me) when I can join you in the glass of wine. Or better yet- a margarita or draft beer (which I am definitely craving). None the less…I hear ya on the saying “no” constantly. I feel like a horrible Mom. I also do my best to not say “no” but rather redirect and explain…but it gets tough when you’re saying the same thing a bazillion times a day. My patience also runs thin. I have to ask: in your home, do temper tantrums, screaming, crying, arching of the back, etc come hand-in-hand with you saying the word “no” and redirecting? They do in our house lately… :/
Def easier said than done but very good advice. It’s important to try and phrase things positively too, such as “let’s just look at the pretty flower with our eyes” rather than “don’t pick the flower.” Max is at an age where he says back to us all the things we say to him and hearing yourself repeated back to you by a toddlet can be very sobering. Just one of the many challenges of parenting these wee ones
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Jenna- I am finding it the hardest thing to not just blurt out “no” all the time! I can’t help it…it is my natural instinct. I give you major props for handling this stage without a nightly glass of wine (or beer) to unwind! Seriously, Mommy’s little helper
Alex- Excellent call on the positive spin!! I can only imagine what a reality check it will be when Ben starts reiterating what we say. Even at this age, just watching some of his BODY language is sobering! (i.e. when he just kind of shrugs past Vader, or points sternly to the ground [for him to lie down]….makes me feel like a bad pet-mom!)