So Piper is now into her third week and we have officially changed her name from the Little Miss to the Little Piglet. While I breastfed the twinkies, I strictly pumped for four months so this whole barnacle on my boobs is a new experience…. and well, I really like it….so far.
She is a great eater and gaining weight like Jessica Simpson. I can’t complain; it is much easier this time around and I am not bragging. Believe me I had my fair share of “boob bullying” with the twins. Especially when I decided to start supplementing. I never let it get to me as it was always coming from a mom, nurse, or LC that had only nursed one child- not two- and not at the same time. I usually just threw it back and asked them if they had preemie twins, eyes averted the answer was always “no”. Boo-yah! DONE!
This brings me to the topic of “boob bullies”. I coined the phrase, so feel free to use it, because they are out there and I am pretty sure 50% of them live in Vermont. Don’t get me wrong: I love this state and I am on the “breast is best” bandwagon. I just don’t feel it is anyone’s place to make those that don’t breastfeed feel bad about it. I truly believe there are legitimate reasons why one may choose not to nurse or, for that matter, why one can’t.
I can’t help but ask if I was back home in my little ritzy Massachusetts town would the pressure of nursing be as prominent as it is here? The answer to that is also a BIG FAT, “NO!” I know this because only 4 of my 8 closest girlfriends from home decided to nurse. I have friends who decided it wasn’t for them before giving birth, friends who struggled with it from day one and decided that formula was a better fit for them, friends who are still nursing a child at 2, and friends who physically never produced enough milk to nurse from the get-go. When talking to them about breastfeeding they never seem less of a mom if they decided against it or couldn’t. In fact they all have really valid responses: responses that I didn’t have because frankly it wasn’t my choice to be made.
Up this way it is definitely in your face quite a bit and I have heard horror stories of boob bullying on the maternity ward, play groups, and at pediatricians offices. While the Time magazine cover brought to light the attachment parenting style to many, this new fury of breastfeeding pressure is also relatively new.
My mom didn’t nurse my sister and I. In fact nursing was very much not en vogue back then. Yes, I just turned 35, and I like to think I am normal. I have a degree, a job, and friends. I wasn’t always picked last at kickball and while I did get lots of ear infections, I attribute it to the many summers swimming as a kid and not to the formula I consumed as a baby.
I guess I have always tried to play it safe when it comes to my opinion on issues that deal with parenting and children. I have a hard enough time trying to keep my own household running smoothly that I frankly don’t have time to condemn others for their parental choices. This also simply means that I really don’t care.
So as I sat on a wood stump at Shelburne Farms nursing my newborn daughter with chickens running around my feet I couldn’t help but chuckle and ask myself, “is this Vermont enough?”
What obstacles or issue did you have with breastfeeding. Please share, don;t be afraid: boobs are just boobs.
-B
mamateurs
Love it! Go B and the Little Piglet! Since Willa was born I’ve said “Boobs are like elbows now” which probably is why I answered the door with my boob OUT of my shirt when W was 3 weeks old and didn’t even realize it until after I had pizza in hand and my mom just looked at me and said “no…you didn’t….did you?!”
I was breastfed and even still my own mother would ask “do you want a blanket?” when we were out for dinner (the answer was always no- it’s August and I’m sweating enough as it i) and friends (who don’t have children yet) who would say “You’re not really going to feed her at the table are you?” (the answer was always yes- if you’d prefer to eat in private in the bathroom please be my guest) but it’s still very hard to not feel even the tiniest bit self conscious about it.
Now we’re at a stage where I WISH W would nurse when we’re out and about but she is just so distracted there’s no point in even trying. So I just end up with a cranky 10month old who still doesn’t want to eat anything else or nurse outside of our bed…so frustrating.
Thanks Hannah. You brought up a good point about people who aren’t very comfortable with nursing. My poor father pretty much looked at the floor the entire weekend I was home even though I had a cover on. I hate those darn covers and so does Piper. She is sweating, I am sweating and its a big juggling act to get to my jugs, haha!
I have become the top off Queen for the little Princess. I try to get in whatever I can before we head out or I tend to be nursing everywhere and get zero done for errands. Her manic feedings have gotten less though so I am hopeful a pattern is falling into place. Otherwise I don’t plan to buy shirts for quite some time